


Find your center

by Boomjob



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: For a prompt with "taako takes angus under his wing", Gen, TFW Discord Secret Santa, Takes place during roughly episode 40, happy candelnights sorry this is so late!, if youre looking for something spoiler free this is pretty much it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 09:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13877823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boomjob/pseuds/Boomjob
Summary: “Sorry doesn’t save someone from dying, kid!” Taako looked as if he could have continued, but he choked when he finished the sentence. Stopping, eyes tinted pink, he looked down at the boy across the room again. “That’s enough for today. Practice... practice on finding your center or something. I don’t care what it is, just make sure you don’t pull that shit, ever again.”He walked out, softly closing the practice room door, leaving Angus to sit and grapple with what just happened on his own.





	Find your center

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lavenderpastels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderpastels/gifts).



> This is so so late but here it is, at 4 am! I had a lot of fun writing this and I really hope you like it @hellfireandbaddecisions ! Find them here at https://starrychihuahuas.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> Happy candelnights!

“Angus, okay, shit, no- Angus!”

“Sorry, sir!!”

“Watch- Hey,  _ watch where ya poin’in that thing!”  _ Taako dove to the side, barely dodging a large out-of-control spell, swirling like a thick, dark, pink cloud from Angus’s wand. The boy detective spun from the force of the magic as it pushed him backwards, falling suddenly to the ground with the toxic smog descending rapidly upon him. He braced himself for the poison when a gust of wind whipped through his hair and up to the ceiling, blowing the toxins away and dissipating the cloud. The air and rushed around the room, sweeping a cold chill through to Angus’s bones. 

Everything settled. Quietly, slowly, he looked around the area, its bland walls and floor undeserving of the excitement people participated in under its ceiling. Angus saw Taako panting opposite him across the room, umbrastaff extended in shaking arms, braced with a look of panic. But his scared expression warped once his concerned eyes locked with Angus’s. Taako masked his nerves, switching immediately to irritation, much to Angus’s horror as he saw his role models eyebrows pinch. 

“Angus, what the FUCK was that, man?!”

“I-I’m, I, I, I didn’t mean it, promise! I’m so so sorry, I had no-”

“ _ Sorry  _ doesn’t save someone from  _ dying,  _ kid!” Taako looked as if he could have continued, but he choked when he finished the sentence. Stopping, eyes tinted pink, he looked down at the boy across the room again. “That’s enough for today. Practice... practice on finding your center or something. I don’t care what it is, just make sure you don’t pull that shit, ever again.”

He walked out, softly closing the practice room door, leaving Angus to sit and grapple with what just happened on his own.

 

It’d been a week with these magic lessons, with mixed results. His first real attempt had been creating a mage hand, Taako watching as he made a horror of a creation that plopped to the ground grotesquely with only one finger. He’d praised him for producing anything, but Angus was still unable to  _ control  _ what he made, even with a wand. They all ended with only half of the spell intact, crazy, and out of line. He was working on it, he really was, but he was just one kid without hundreds of years to practice like his mentor… he just needed the missing pieces of information and direction.

But the missing pieces were still a mystery!  _ What did he lack? A ‘center?’ Taako said he needed to find his center. Was it like, his heart? His mind? Where was his center? _

Angus sat on the grassy quad of the moonbase, pondering what was, technically speaking, the center of his body, when he heard grass lightly crunching behind him to his right.

Angus whipped around and saw Magnus mere inches from the backpack he’d left next to him.

Yelping, he rolled forward in surprise, streaking a large grass stain down his shoulder. A cackling from behind a far off bush revealed Carey, howling with laughter as Magnus groaned. Carey laughed so hard she coughed and a spark of fire lit the grass up in front of her. Yelling an ‘oh  _ shit!’  _ from the distance, it gave Magnus a turn to laugh back at her, backpack prize completely forgotten.

Angus simply watched the scene unfold with his heart rate spiking at an alarming rate. 

“S-Sorry Ango,” Magnus gasped between laughs, “You were the victim of my rogue training. Blame lizard-hotbreath over there.”

“ _ Magnus I could kill you so hard.” _

“But you HAVEN’T yet, HAVE you?” Magnus yelled back to the bush. Carey had finally put out the small flame, now looking sadly at her singed jacket.

“Sir, you’re… training to be a rogue?”

“Yeah! It’s been great so far!”

“Too bad it took you like, a  _ week _ to learn the mindset of being even remotely roguish, first. We coulda’ been tackling things like this waaay earlier.” Carey walked over and leaned an elbow against Magnus’s back, crispy jacket slung over her shoulder casually. “You finally found it in yourself to not think like a meathead fighter all the time.”

“Hey!”

Angus watched them playfully bicker as friends, discussing Magnus’s training. They worked well together, despite being so different… And Magnus was learning well from Carey...

“Um,” he finally said, prompting Carey and Magnus to look over at the boy still half laying on the grass. “Is there a chance you could, help me with a question? I’ve been trying to figure it out…”

They paused, glancing at one another, before Magnus spoke. “Yeah, we can um, answer to the best of our abilities? We might not know it though, I’ll admit that.”

“Speak for yourself, lug.”

“I mean, it’s not very smart of you to  _ challenge me like that,  _ you lookin’ for a fight or somethin’-?”

“The compliment was very kind, thank you,” Angus cut in before something escalated between the two powers, “but it’s… about something Taako said.”

“First thing you should know, Taako is an enigma,” Magnus stated, without hesitation. “Second, I have no idea what is ever in his head. Nor should anyone pretend to understand.”

Angus paused, not sure if he should be taking notes or get defensive for his mentor. “...Okay, well, I mean, he- he told me I need to find my ‘center’... But I’m, not really sure what that means? Or where to find it...”

Carey stroked her chin. “Did he provide any context? At all?”

“No, but it was after a… Particularly bad session of our magic lessons.”

Both the fighters gave an ‘ _ ohhhhh… ,’  _ nodding their heads together sagely. “Well, that’s not something we can find  _ for  _ you buddy, but we were about to take a break anyway! We can help you at least  _ try  _ some things to find your center, would that be helpful? You got the time, Mags?” 

“Oh, yeah, sure!”

“Guys,” Angus interrupted again, exasperated, “I just— _ ” _

“Meet us in bubble 201 in ten minutes and we’ll help!”

“I—” but as he spoke, they we already gone, shoving each other and dodging along the way in a half-spar as they chatted.

 

“Okay. Finding a center. Angus, what motivates you?”

“Um,” he floundered. He sat in the large sparring room with his wand on a nearby table. Magnus sat next to him with a knife and a block of wood, chipping away at a carving. Carey stood on the mat, lightly bouncing on her feet. “I, I guess…”

“Here, let’s give an example. Magnus, what-”

“Protecting my friends!” Magnus’s head whipped up so fast he almost knicked himself with the blade. He yelped and dropped the knife, where it punctured the fighting mat below.

Carey stared at the knife. “You’re an absolute dumbass with a heart of gold, you oaf.” Magnus apologetically unstuck the knife, turning back to his carving. “Anyway,” she turned back to the boy sitting cross legged. “What do you say is your core driving force? Why do you get out of bed? Why do you work so hard? What makes you tick, and what, especially, drives you to be better?” She started circled around him, tail swishing behind her.

“I- I’m, I’m the world’s greatest detective… So if I can help, I would want to, I guess…”

Magnus held up a hand for a high five, but Angus hesitated when he saw it was the hand holding the knife again. Magnus noticed, too, and dropped the knife to open his palm safely, unfortunately causing the knife to fall and once again puncture the mat.

“Magnus do that again and I’ll fuckin’ kill ya,” Carey said in a chillingly calm voice from behind the two boys in her circular path around them. “Anyway,” she continued, “Those were great answers! A motivation is essential to your center.” She finished circling him, kneeling in front of Angus now to see eye to eye. Her breathe was warm on his face. “But what  _ moves  _ you to do that? What gives you that answer in the present?”

He went to speak, but she shushed him instead. “I need to know why you would  _ want _ to find your center.”

At that moment, Magnus dropped his knife again with a muttered  _ oh shit _ . Carey glared emptily at it sticking up through the foam, before slowly looking back at Angus. “...For example, I’m legit going to choke Mags now.”

Both boys shouted “wait WHAT-?” as Carey lunged across the floor, hands wrapped around the large fighters throat, completely pinned in seconds.

Angus sat horrified, choking back a scream as he watched his friend’s face turn red, weakly grasped at the lithe dragonborn. He struggled against his own thoughts, thinking at a million miles an hour, flickering between emotions like book pages turning at a 100 per second rate.

His eyes locked on the knife, still lopsidedly sticking out of the mat… And something in Angus’s mind snapped. His expression hardened with his mind sharp as a tack, and in a swift movement, he launched to the carving knife, unsheathing it from its confinement in the floor and ran to Magnus. Carey’s back to him, feet padding along the soft floor as he raised a fist up…

She whipped around quickly, gripping Angus’s wrist with a scaly hand. She smiled, looking ready to give a lesson, before she glanced at Angus’s small fist… to find it empty, no knife between the fingers. Surprised, her expression flickered in confusion before catching a flash of silver in his  _ other _ hand, busy passing the weapon from his grip to Magnus’s free hand as the boy dangled from her own. 

As quickly as she herself had pinned Magnus, her back hit the floor with the tiny blade near her neck, trainee leering over her menacingly. 

The room was tense, both fighters staring intensely after the scuffle. Then, Angus noticed, they both winked at each other and broke apart, sitting apart from each other and smiling amiably. 

“Great job, Angus! You had me 100% outsmarted. The knife was predictable, but the fake stabbing bluff was clever!”

“Yeah Ango, good stuff!”

Angus sat scared of these two for the second time in the last half hour. Sputtering, he weakly muttered, “Wh… What? What happened? I’m-”

“You did great is what, Angus. Now,” Carey turned her knees to him. “Sit like me.”

Angus stared at her, feeling his heartbeat in his throat, before slowly moving himself to mimic her. God, what was  _ happening??  _ He sat, breathe ragged, kneeling on the mat with his fists balled up and shaking.

“Follow my breathing, and close your eyes. In...” He inhaled skeptically, hesitating to close his eyes. Glancing at Magnus, he saw his friend doing the same, following Carey in her breathing with his eyes closed, collected despite the red rings around his neck. After a few seconds of the exercise, Angus brought himself to calm down and breathe as well, eyes closed and relaxed.

“So,” Carey finally broke the silence. “What were your feelings about that?”

“The breathing or the choking thing?”

“Hm, both I guess. Start with the beginning.”

He exhaled. “I was… I was scared. Carey, not to be rude, but I don’t know you as well as Magnus. I wasn’t sure what, what was going on? You’re both so strong, I… didn’t know what to do…”

“Yes, but you clearly  _ did _ do something. What came next?”

Angus thought about the moment, head now clear. “I…” He stopped, not wanting to rush his thoughts. He honestly didn’t know. “I guess I… protected Magnus.”

“Yes! That you did!” She clapped. “But it was much more than that! You thought about it, Angus. You didn’t attack me  _ yourself…” _

“...Because that wouldn’t have been helpful…” Angus finished her sentence. 

“And why not?”

“...Because I’m a little boy, and... I’d never match you in agility. I figured Magnus would be better off if  _ he  _ had the knife.”

“Right. Now, what about the breathing? What did you think about that?”

“Well… I guess, as soon as Magnus was safe, it felt easier to calm down. When, when you turned away from him, it made me feel better about you  _ not  _ attacking him…”

“Yet,” she paused. “Yet you didn’t flinch for yourself?”

That made him question himself. It’s true, he wasn’t afraid of Carey once she faced him. Angus glanced at his friend. “...Cuz Magnus still has the knife.”

Carey glanced to the side, where Magnus looked at his hand in surprise, back to her, and shrugged. She laughed, bubbling up from a low giggle.

“That he does, that he does. You’re a smart kid, Angus. You know that?”

“Um, thank you.”

“Did this help at all?”

He visibly recoiled. “Um?? No?? I’m sorry-- I still don’t understand how to find my center?”

Magnus moved to stand. “ ‘S’alright, Ango, you’ll get it.”

“I don’t understand what I’m ‘getting’ still, I’m afraid...”

“Don’t sweat it, tiger. Now, I have to  _ actually  _ fight Magnus for puncturing my sparring mat, break time over!” With that, she swung a heavy kick to Magnus’s side, initiating a battle Angus wanted absolutely zero participation in. He slipped around the walls of the room, clicking the door shut as Magnus spun Carey around by the foot.

 

“Hey little man, what’up?”

“You look kinda down…”

He’d just left the spar between Magnus and Carey when Angus turned a corner, finding Avi and Johann at a small tea table by the flower beds. A few cards had been laid out where they sat  playing a quiet game to themselves, stopped only when they saw the moon bases favorite boy detective. 

“Oh, hello sirs… I’m just busy thinking.”

“Yeah, looks like it,” Avi said, “You’re brows looked like they could’a knit a better sweater than my nana.” Avi leaned an arm over the back of his chair to get a better angle. He’d always been nice to Angus, answering any questions he’d had about the cannons or transportation systems the moonbase held, happy to see another person with such deep interest. 

“Aw c’mon Avi, don’t make fun of him… He’s clearly troubled.” His low drawl unspooled like yarn when he spoke. Johann had spent time with Angus after his inoculation, teaching him about the history of the war he wasn’t alive for while the boy sat straight as an arrow jotting info in his notepad. The Director even came by at one point to give details, impressed by the young boys penmanship. When Angus started to get slightly emotional, Johann played a calming tune to help him while the boy hugged the gamekeepers side.

“Aw I’m not making fun of him, just- Here, pull up a seat, kid. What’s got you twisted up?” Avi pulled a third chair close to the table and patted the top. Angus hesitated. The last time he voiced his problem, he almost watched his friend suffocate. He sat though, cognizant of that Avi was nowhere near his cannons.

“Well, I’m trying to learn magic with Taako… but I messed up, and he was mad at me. He told me I have to ‘find my center,’ but I don’t know what that means!” He slouched in the chair, khaki shorts bunched up in his fists. “I just want to learn what a center is, but nobody seems to want to give me an answer…”

Avi and Johann both exchanged an  _ ohhhh…  _ before nodding to each other, an annoying trend Angus’s noticed between adults when discussing the topic. 

“Alright, we’ll help you.” Johann smiled warmly.

“You’ll tell me what it means to find my center?”

“Something like that…”

“...Okay…”

“So, Angus, you ever played crazy 8’s?”

“Isn’t that a kids game?”

“Yeah it is,  _ Johann.”  _ Avi leaned across the table with his elbow towards the bard. 

“Not everything has to be poker!”

Avi snickered, watching Johann redden slightly at the ribbing. “It’s still fun, doesn’t have to be a difficult game to be enjoyed by adults. You know the rules?”

“I never really had time to learn…”

Johann piped in, “See?  _ You’re  _ a kid and you haven’t played it, so it’s an ‘everyone’ game.” His defense was genuine but his anger wasn’t. He still laughed lightly, feathered hat bobbing with his slow chuckle.

“Well, let’s see if I- we, can teach you to find your center through a good card game.” Avi snatched the card pack off the table, claiming the dealer position. Angus was intrigued, he had to admit.

“So, in life, everyone is dealt a hand of cards,” Avi explained, shuffling the cards before dealing Johann five to his hand. “Everyone makes due with what they have, and make smart decisions.”

“If I may add,” Johann drawled, looking at his cards, “Not everyone will like what they get, and you can still win with a band hand. But,” he looked up, smirking mischievously behind his cards at Avi. “Sometimes, people are ‘born’ luckier than others.”

“Shit talking during an analogy, eh? Alright, we can play like that.” Avi laughed, picking up his own cards and staring his opponent down. “I’ll play you like the fiddle you call a weapon. Angus, pay attention.”

Angus watched these two grown ass adults stare each other down like a texas showdown behind their cards, listening in to the commentary from one another. Avi flipped the first card for the pile, and the game started.

“In life, you grow through interactions with others, while pushing yourself forward with what you learn from said interactions,” Avi said, while Johann placed a card on top of the pile, matching a spade with a spade. “We adapt and learn.” Avi then placed his own spade card on top of Johanns.

“So, like, in this game, you have to match either the number or the suit. If you can match the top card, you place one of yours down. If you can’t, you pick up cards until you, um, can,” Johann described, placing a ten of hearts on top, switching the suit but keeping the number. “Oh, and the 8 is the wildcard. You can put it down whenever you want.” He looked down at his hand. “And you don’t always have to have five cards, you’re actually supposed to get rid of them the fastest.”

Avi nodded, placed another card down. “But that takes a while, unless your smart or you get lucky. Everyone has different experiences. Different cards to pick up and place, passing them onto others to react to. It’s life to do so.”

Angus was drawn in by the game, unable to see the cards of either players, but still understanding the story, the motivation. They flipped cards for a few rounds silently, playing the game and smirking to themselves. Finally, Avi looked over to him, flashing his cards.

“Here, you try. Point to the card you think would be best. This isn’t for the analogy as much, but think about what cards Johann’s put down the most and the least, and you can guess what would be hard for him to play off of.”

Johann laughed. “Are you getting help from him?”

“I just want him to see how it works!”

They both shared a laugh at that before Angus picked a card. He’d switched the suit despite Avi not having many cards in that particular one, knowing Johann had even less.

Johann scowled at Angus’s seven of clubs. He picked up a card, and scowled at that one too. Then another, and another. “ _ Sometimes,”  _ he growled, “you are…  _ ill equipped _ to face a… particular challenge.” He jokingly glared at Avi, drawing card after card until finally picking one he could put down, now heavily drowning in cards. Avi’s hand was still light, Angus noticed. 

Then, Avi’s smile vanished as he saw Johann place a seven of diamonds. “S-sometimes, having only a few cards can be bad, too, despite being so close to winning,” he explained, breaking eye contact with Johann only to look dejected at his last three cards. He picked up close to ten cards before flipping the eleventh and breaking into a wide smile. 

“But, you have to get creative. Sometimes, there’s fun rules that make the game of life that much more exciting.” Avi slipped the 8 of hearts to the top of the pile, smiling down at Angus. “There are rules, experiences, that may seem unreal sometimes, almost like it shouldn’t be allowed. Take those opportunities, no matter how  _ crazy  _ that 8 may be.”

“Ha ha, how clever. Don’t encourage him to do something illegal, though,” Johan deadpanned, not looking up from his roughly 20 cards.

“No, god, its just a card game. Listen Angus, the 8 card you’re dealt, if it ever comes, should be taken with a grain of salt. It’s an advantage. An opportunity unlike others. A fun one, that should be seized and used for your benefit of growing as a person, despite potential risks. But most of the game requires thought and strategy. You need to think before you act.”

“‘Strategy?’ Really, Avi? It’s crazy 8’s not chess.”

“Maybe that mindset is why you’re  _ losing.” _

Honestly Angus wasn’t sure if he should just give up on the idea of getting an actual answer about a center. Nevertheless, he still listened to the story.

They played more, slapping down card after card before Avi was once again down to roughly two cards. He smirked. “When you get to the end of your run, the hardships have passed, and you seem close,” he put down another card. “You finally get to experience the win of having no other cards to deal with.” He placed his last card down, Johann throwing his cards to the table and groaning.

Angus processed the thoughts tossed to him from the older men, thinking the story over and over, trying to gain a steady theme from it.

“So wait,” Angus said, finally speaking since the game started, “when you run out of cards and win, you’re saying it means you die??”

“No, kid-- listen,” Avi leaned off the table again. He drew a breathe, looking down at the boy. “That’s when you finally reach personal happiness.” He glanced at Johann and smiled.

“Yeah, I’d say that was... an alright analogy,” the musician admitted. 

“So, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound rude, but… What about a person’s center?”

“Oh, that one’s easy.” Johann grabbed the cards to neaten them. “Your center is what you make of the challenges or learning opportunities  _ before  _ the happiness, or how you play the cards in the face of adversity.”

“...That’s awfully cryptic, can’t I just get a definition?”

“We can’t help you find your center, kid, we can just help you push yourself forward.” He watched Johann deal out a new hand. “You wanna play with us?”

“...I think I’ll have to pass, thank you. I should be getting back to my lesson soon…” Avi hummed. Angus couldn’t make heads or tails of it, this whole deal just made him feel a little less smart for not cracking the riddle. “Alright, well, thanks for the help… I liked the story!” Angus hopped down from the chair.

“No problem, buddy. So hey Johann, you up for finally learning Speed?”

“I’m, um, gonna stop you right there…” he answered slowly.

 

Merle had returned from his spa trip with the Director about two days ago. He’d spent those days catching up with others, laughing about what’d he’d missed, and telling about his vacation. But of course, the spot he missed most was the moonbase greenhouse. He’d chosen that spot as his favorite place to relax among the flowers and leaves, reading the xtreme teen bible cover to cover when he was bored.

A certain troubled boy detective picked Merles garden maintenance time to walk in. He shuffled into the large greenhouse, staring at nothing in particular and catching his eye only on the floor ahead of him. Angus juggled the emotions laid in front of him, still feeling awful for disappointing Taako, irritated for not getting an answer about a ‘center,’ and something that was bubbling close to anger the more he thought about it for is own inability to not understand… When a twig snapped under his velcro shoe. He stared at it, finally looking up to take stock of his surroundings. The place was overgrown in the fullest sense of the term, most likely from Merle’s extended leave of absence with the Director. He was completely lost in the foliage covering overhead like a canopy. Tall green leaves loomed above, some with stems as thick as small trees, blooming flowers crawling along the dirt path. Vines snaked up the path’s edge and it was close to pitch dark.

Most importantly, it was all unrecognizable. He was lost.

_ Now what?! Of COURSE he had to get lost, of all the rotten days!  _ Angus fervently swiveled his head, looking for any sign of familiarity, growing frustrated when there were none.

Angus couldn’t even retrace his steps out, figuratively or literally. He hadn’t been paying attention enough to see his path, and the floor below was so chunky and rooted there wasn’t enough for footprints. He plunked down on a small dirt patch by some daisies, tired of the day, tired of the walking, tired of feeling lesser.

Tired, gosh, just… sleepy…

“Hey kid, nuh-uh, you sleep by those flowers you ain’t getting back up again till the reaper comes.”

His eyes flew open and he scrambled away, tearing across the path on all fours and scraping his palms before tripping to the side on a root. Gasping for breath, he sat up and scooted the rest of the path width back until he stared the flowers down from yards away. Angus winced at his knee that took the brunt of the fall, wiping his dirty hands on his vest while gripping his wounds. But most concerning was the… Disembodied voice that spoke to him...

“H--...Hello?? Who’s there?”

Merle laughed to himself above the trees, casting the voice projection spell again. “Good reflexes kid, thought I’d have to go get you for real.”

Angus twisted around on the ground, searching for the source. “S-sir? Merle? Is that you?”

A blip noise and the voice came from a few feet away from him, too far to hear. Angus couldn’t make heads or tails of what it was saying, before it cut short and popped in again right next to him. “-shit, my aim is off. Yeah it’s me, didn’t you see the sign? What’re you doing in here?” There was no contempt in his voice, but without a visual, Angus couldn’t see the dwarf snickering high above.

“Oh no, no way, I’m not gonna explain my problem again.” Angus couldn’t help but just accept that something weird like this might as well happen, the rest of the day had already been so weird as is. That didn’t mean he had to play along.

“Aw c’mon kid, entertain me. I’ll listen, I swear.” It’s true, he’d learned the same ear trick from Taako, so he really  _ was  _ listening. One voice spell and one hearing spell, all it took.

Angus glanced to the general area of the voice and gave a tired huff. “Can you at least tell me where you are?  _ Actually  _ are?”

“With how lost you are in there? I doubt if I gave you a direction you would even know where to look. Hell, do you know which way  _ up _ even is?” Merle gave a hearty laugh as Angus rolled his eyes, pitching to the side in a tired slouch to drudge along in his search for the exit. He’d find his way out  _ without  _ help, its not like he’d gotten any help today  _ anyway.  _

“Listen, listen,” The voice blipped again while he walked, “I’ll guide you out, I’ll help, and you just tell me whats wrong while we go, capiche?”

Angus stopped, teetering on an overgrown root in the ground. With his grass stained shoulder and dirty shorts, he stood on tired feet with a tired mind. If he knew magic, everything would be easier. The wand sat heavy in his back pocket, a gift from Leon. Merle used magic it like a toy... And he seemed to know what was happening. One might even call him “helpful.”

Hell, Angus might as well ask a magic user what was up.

“Alright,” he said exasperated, “I’ll tell you.”

Angus picked his way through the plants for the next few minutes, pushing giant wads of vines from his face and shouldering groups of branches to the side. He swore he saw some of them move of their own volition, and wouldn’t put it past Merle to have something odd like that. He explained most of what had happened that morning, starting with Taako.

“Are you sure we’re going the right way, sir? When I came in I didn’t remember having this much trouble with the…” Angus paused, lightly pulling a twig down and out of his way as he grabbed a fistfull of leaves for balance. His hand slipped, and the twig rocketed back in his face and lightly whacked his glasses. “...Weeds.”

Merels voice popped next to him again. “I’m positive, kid. Now, what was it Taako wanted from you? I know a lot about magic. I’m an expert, obviously.”

Fixing his glasses and pushing aside more plants, he explained, “My center. He said to find my center. I’ve been asking everyone all day how to, but I haven’t gotten an answer! Carey and Magnus asked about my  _ feelings _ after a fight, and Johann and Avi played a  _ card game _ with me and put in a, like-- they put an analogy for life in it? Does that make sense, sir?”

“Hmmm. Yeah I think I’m catchin’ ya.”

“So I guess I might as well ask… Can  _ you  _ help me find out my center?”

Angus didn’t hear the pop of the voice for a long moment. Standing in the warm warehouse of plants, alone, he waited.

“Well, first we gotta get you out of these plants, huh?”

“Y-yeah, I guess, but I don’t see why you couldn’t just quickly answer-“

“Look kid, it’s a complicated question. Just-- just follow my voice and maybe we can still talk along the way.” And his voice popped away from him. A few yards away, Angus heard his voice again shouting to follow. He blindly made his way through, scratching his arms a bit on the thorns and pricks. At a fork in the path, Merle spoke again. “Lesson one. The best ending for this is to get out of the greenhouse, right? How do you want to do that.”

“Uhh, quickly I guess?”

“What are you willing to do to get there?”

“I’m- I’m sorry sir, what?”

“If you’d be willing to burn some of my precious plants to get out, then go right. If you’d rather not, go left.”

Angus weighed his options. Some of of the plants were dangerous, sure, but they weren’t his to destroy. Merle puts in time and effort into his plants, plus he’d feel bad if he brought harm to something like that. Even if he’d make it out quicker, it just wasn’t worth it. He went left.

Squeezing between two large tree trunks as a gap for the path, he just barely made it through before Merle spoke again. “At the end of this stretch, yer gonna want to choose fast for no particular reason.”

“Sir?” He tripped slightly on a vine. “C-can I ask what-”

“You wanted to get out, right? I’m showin’ you how.”

He feared the worst and braced for his cryptic life lesson. “Alright sir, I’ll listen.”

“Now, move quickly. Lesson two. If you’d ask a person for help in a dangerous situation, go right, and if you’d want them to stay out of trouble, take a sharp left.”

He sputtered between both, wondering what the danger was that warranted a quick answer. With little thinking, he’d moved right and hurdled over a low patch of bush.

“Interesting…” Merle’s voice popped next to him. 

“S-sir I’m sorry, w… why did I have to run?” He asked through short breathes.

“Oh I just hate waiting. Walk straight.” 

Angus groaned. 

He plodded on for a while, Merle silent for most of it. He took the time to really look around, finally out of danger and free from fear. The overgrowth spilled onto each other like water, overlapping shades of green with light poking through in patches like stars in a night sky. He saw the reds of hibiscus flowers shaded in warmth, the vivid hues of forgotten terra cotta pots, and the deeply rich soil on what he found to be gardening tables. The air was fresh from the chilled bite of dew on new grass, and it smelled of distant lavender. Low foliage brushed against his tall socks and tickled his knees in his wake.

No, he wouldn’t want to harm this place.

But the second question seemed out of place. Why would he--

“Alright, you’re at the next turn. Lesson three. Now,” Merle said, “If you would break the law to do the--”

“Sir please, I’m not sure I can--”

“Now listen, kid,” Merle interrupted, “I ain’t tellin ya how to, y’know, go about livin your life or whatever, but if you want to get out of here, then you’re gonna have to listen… Unless you think you can make it outta here on your own. Got it?”

Angus stayed quiet, but nodded.

“Kid I can’t actually see you, I’m gonna need a verbal confirmation on that one.”

“Yeah, I got it… I’ll try.”

“Great. So, if you would break the law to do the right thing, go right. If you think the law  _ is  _ the right thing to do, go left.”

There were so many variables to these questions that would normally warrant specification, but he was just one boy. He went right. It’s what Caleb Cleveland would do. 

“So, you wouldn’t burn my plants even if it was faster, you would ask for help from friends, and you would break the law.”

“Only to do the good thing, sir…”

“Right, right. The good thing.” Angus heard the voice pop away, before suddenly coming back. “Have you had to make those decisions before? Or anything similar to them?”

Angus was usually pretty collected, but the question blindsided him. “Uhh, no? I don’t think so…”

“Then it’s good to know how you would react, for future reference. Knowing, ah… Knowing what’s right is important, I guess? For the future.”

“Sir, are you making this up as you go? How do you even know I’m making the right turns?”

“No, no. It’s all helpful. The decisions you would make help you see your center and what drives you. It’s the reason you learn--”

This was useless, why did he even think he’d get an answer. Just then, Angus saw light streaming from the corner of his eye. The exit was just a small haul away and he could make it there easily through the thick brush, a short-cut to get away from this. He felt bad, but it was time to cut this short. He couldn’t deal with another strange tale of morals. “Thank you sir, I see the exit though! I think I can make it out. Thank you for the talk!” He politely waved and dove into the density. He looked back at the beauty of the forest and thought to visit again one day when he didn’t feel the need to escape from it.

_ Fine, _ Merle thought,  _ not like I wanted to talk anyway… _

 

He assessed the damage to his outfit in the reflective dome of a nearby building. His glasses were roughed up and had a large scratch, his skin was covered in light cuts, and he was dirty. He sighed, sliding down the dome wall to the moon’s surface. Thinking back on the greenhouse, he felt bad. But if he had stayed another second in there, he really would have lost it! There wasn’t just a dictionary term someone could give? Why did everyone know except him? He should go back and apologize to Merle for being so rude… Nobody could just spell it logically for him! Why did he have to build it from the foundation? 

His head hit his pillowed arms above his knees and thought. Mostly about his own ignorance, but then about Taako. He wanted so, so badly to learn magic. He’d practiced at night when nobody was awake, he read spellbooks forward and backward, he studied its history… But Taako’s face, his look of fear when the spell misfired this morning…

“Is this seat taken?”

Angus quickly smooshed his sleeves to his eyes and wiped his tears away, looking up blearily to see the Director in her long white and blue regal robes, hand strongly gripped around her staff and standing tall. She gave a genuine smile, eyes warmly concerned for him. Without a word, he scuttled to the side a bit to make room for her, despite the immense open space outside of the dome. Once to the side, he fixed his sleeves and his glasses a bit, wiping them down from the fog.

She bent down, laying a flat palm to the ground and turning gracefully, staff used for balance as she leaned her back flush to the wall next to Angus, staring forward.  He couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening or where she had even come from, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly intimidated. Angus finished cleaning his glasses, slipping them back to his nose.

“May I fix those for you?”

He jumped slightly, seeing the Director looking to him now. Weakly, he took them from his face and handed them across to her. Lightly plucking them from his hand, she examined them before swirling the Bulwark staff. Angus watched the crack fill itself in like time had reversed. She held them back out to him with the same contently flat expression.

“You look sad, Angus. What’s wrong?”

He took the glasses with gentle hands, unable to make eye contact. “Nothing, ma’am...  It’s just, seeing you do magic like that…” He trailed off, propping his chin back on his arms. 

Lucretia waited, but took her turn to speak when he was done. “Are you still continuing your magic lessons with Taako?”

“Sort of…”

“Did you hit a snag of sorts?”

“...You’re probably busy, ma’am, and it’s an awful long story...”

“Angus, look around.” Angus lifted his head. “I run this place. I always have time ‘cuz I’m the boss.” She smirked down at him, catching his eye as he let a giggle slip out. “You can tell me what you’re comfortable sharing. Trust me, I’m a good listener.”

He smiled. She really was a comforting force. Something about her showed immense strength… Yet her mannerisms, her personality, her liveliness was inviting. He’d had many conversations with her, yet was surprised each and every time. He took a deep breathe, and told her everything.

He’d explained the trouble with Taako that morning, the hurt and confusion he’d felt. He described the fake fight with Magnus and Carey, the card game with Johann and Avi, and the Greenhouse with Merle. She listened intently and never interrupted, only speaking when Angus forgot a name or a word and asked for it. Once he was done, he leaned his head back to the dome and thought about it all over again. He felt tears well up in his eyes again.

“Why don’t I know what a center is? I’m… I’m the world’s greatest detective. I should be able to find out…”

The Director watched him, deciding this was the best time to step in. “I think you’re almost there, from what I’ve heard.”

“Please ma’am, don’t give me another story. I already feel like a dumb little kid for not getting it.”

“I would never. I understand how it is to be the youngest, and it’s never a good feeling to be looked down upon.” She stared forward for a beat, her eyes distant and Angus tried and failed to read her expression again. “What I mean is, what did you learn from everyone today, and more importantly, from yourself?”

“I… I…” He stammered, “I-- I learned, I learned I don’t even know what a center  _ is!”  _ The pooled up tears dripped from his eyes. “I was s-so busy asking everyone how to  _ find _ it, I never learned  _ what it was!”  _ He buried his face in his arms again and cried. He was exhausted, sad, and he had nothing to show for the day. He cried for a few moments before feeling a hand on his back, rubbing smooth circles and calming him down. He leaned into the Directors cool robes and felt her hand wrap around his shoulder.

He let out a few last hiccups as they sat there together for the coming minutes. Finally, when he was all but quiet, she spoke again. “Angus, you’re one of my bravest operatives.” He looked up through his blurry vision again, having taken off his glasses this time. She smiled. “One of the smartest, as well as one of the nicest, too.”

“That’s very nice of you to say, thank you.” He still laid on her side as they rested against the dome, neither trying to move. 

“Do those three compliments specifically remind you of anything in particular?”

He was confused by the question. “I’m sorry, they don’t…”

“You jumped to save Magnus first, you very literally played your cards well, and made wise, kind decisions in Merle’s greenhouse.” She looked back down again. “I’d say you learned quite a bit.”

It was true, he had done all of those. “Now,” she started again, snapping his attention back, “You ask what a center is.” She cleared her throat. “You’re center is why you, well, why you do what you do. It’s what moves you to act, think, and do. Angus,” she smiled down at him. “You already have a center, but to  _ find  _ it means to find  _ yourself. That’s  _ where you get your magic from. It’s from you. _ ” _

He looked at her with stars in his eyes. He sat awestruck, slowly turning his head and forming the arithmetic in his mind of what his center was, churning through metacognitive thinking, personal mannerisms and thoughts, ideas, values…

“Nobody could find it for you, that’s why it was so hard to help. Does this make sense?”

He hugged her suddenly, squeezing her waist with the strength of a kitten and all the love of a puppy. Pulling away, he had more tears spilling from his eyes, leftover from before but repurposed into something better. “Yes, yes it makes sense, it makes  _ so _ much sense! Thank you!” He shuffled to his feet, brushing off his clothes and finding his wand in his pocket.

“Where are you going?” She asked.

He gripped his wand, looking at it with renewed passion.”I’m gonna go find Taako!” His heart swelled with confidence as he stood tall, excited for what would come next.

“Angus, why don’t you take a nap or something first? It might do you some good.”

Oh gods that sounded good right now.

...

“Yeah, Yeah actually that sounds good, too.”

 

Hours later, he walked back into the practice room, clean and refreshed. Taako turned to see him, confident smile on his face, wand in hand, and ready. Angus was still nervous, sure, but that was who he was. He stepped onto the mat and smiled.

 

* * *

 

**Angus** : Sir, sir! Check it out! Check it out!

 

**Griffin:** And he holds out his hand, and a small but pretty steady flame appears in it. And he has cast a very competent version of the cantrip Produce Flame. He’s holding it up to you looking for approval.

 

**Taako:** That is awesome. Congratulations, Ang-Agnes.

  
**Angus:** T-thank you sir! I-- Did you say Agnes?

**Author's Note:**

> This is technically over our limit which is the excuse im using for being so late... yeah. One shots are kinda fun and i get kinda carried away, whaddaya gonna do.


End file.
